In February of 2008, I got the calling to write a book. I prayed about it for a long time, and over the next 1 ½ years or so, God gave me all the inspiration and resources I needed to produce a high quality book that wasn’t just “more of the same” as far as Christian non-fiction goes. I self published in December, and it’s now selling on Amazon. You can check it out here: In Case of Armageddon, Break Glass

It wasn’t the big publisher book deal I was thinking it would be, but then again, “God works in mysterious ways,” right?

I didn’t want to be a millionaire, or even “rich.” In fact, I thought my goals after publishing the book were very God focused: I didn’t want to keep more of my income than my family needed. I was going to take everything beyond that and give it away to church, to family members who needed it, and to friends of mine who are missionaries, etc.

But instead, I got nothing. No mounds of book sales; no word from God about what to do next, or where to go from here; no pull to write another book right away; no money falling into my lap that I could use to support my family, let alone give to others. Nothing. In fact, I had gotten so used to hearing God speaking and inspiring me almost daily while I was writing the book, the silence in my head was deafening. Why wasn’t he speaking? Why wasn’t he acting? And after a few weeks of silence from God, I even started to ask “Why did he forsake me?”

I was praying on the day before New Year’s Eve (New Year’s Adam, if you will) and I got my answer:

“Quit assuming you know what I want for you.”

You know those scenes in movies where the main character is on the phone with the bad guy, and the bad guy says something that blows your mind, then the music stops, the good guy’s jaw hits the floor, and people in the movie theater gasp because it was so earth shattering? That’s what happened to me: Earth. Shattered.

After I picked my jaw up from the floor, scenes from the previous three weeks replayed in my head. Time and time again, I saw that God was showing me what he wanted me to do, and it was always the same thing: write.

But I was chasing what I really wanted, even though I didn’t realize it: the money. I wanted to be a big name author that made a ton of money, regardless of the fact that I thought I wanted to give it away. I was putting those desires for myself onto God. I was assuming he wanted the book I wrote to be a best seller in the same way I did, and that he would just make it happen.

But that’s not what God wanted… he wanted me to put in the time to write articles for blogs and magazines to spread his message and glorify his name. I just wanted to sit back, let him do all the work, and get paid for it. After all, I spent a year and a half to write that book for him, right? Silly me for thinking my work was finished…

Even as I write this article, I’m still struggling with this; I won’t pretend that separating my wants from God’s wants has been easy. But the more I do it, the louder God’s voice in my life becomes.

Are you really listening to and taking action on what God wants from you? Or have you been putting your desires in the place of God’s desires in your life?

Pray about it, really pray, and God will show you what you’ve been missing for so long. Listen to his reply to you, and don’t put your own desires onto him.

What do you feel that God wants from you?